If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
