I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
