Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
