Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
