You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
