she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Girls should come with a carfax report
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
