Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
