1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
