Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
