just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
