If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
