Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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