Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
