Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
