whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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