How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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