Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
