I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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