So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
