office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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