My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
