Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
