I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
