I am puke
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
