so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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