sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
