And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
