never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need a beard to bite.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
