More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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