youre lurking in front of me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
