I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
