this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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