she looked like the before picture.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
