so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
