How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How does one acquire holy water?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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