Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
