end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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