The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Terrible idea I love it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
