Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
