Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
