He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
