if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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