Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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