you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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