i wish my penis had a tongue
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
