batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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