You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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