No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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