And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
