Sry I called you an 8
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
