I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
