I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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