Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
