Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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