He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
