im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
