Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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