i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
