also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
